Just Griping About My Faith
Christianity can sometimes rip my heart out. I love Jesus and truly talk to Him everyday but I have not been able to drag myself into church in years. It is not religion or church that keeps me away; it is the people that attend religious functions that send me into hiding. I hate walking into a building, going with the intention of worshipping my Lord and Savior just to hear snipe-y judgemental comments. I am sure other religions have the same problem within their "sects" but I am not qualified to comment on that. This post is about my experience.
I went to a non-denominational Christian school growing up. Our high school was not allowed to have dances because it offended some Christian branches. Some branches did not allow make-up or certain clothing. Whatever. It was about respect and we tried to respect all types of Christians. I did not mind one iota. What bothered me was Christians attacking Christians. This branch said "they aren't real Christians because have idols in their church" or another branch would claim "they aren't good Christians because they have church on Sunday instead of Saturday which is the true sabbath". Some churches allowed jeans and tennis shoes and you can imagine the turn and burn sermons that inspired. Why do Christians rip each other apart?
Living in Kansas I see some really devout people. Some are quite judgemental. I am not considered a true Christian because I do not attend services weekly. At best, it seems I am just a weak Christian who is "backsliding". I consort with non-believers, I use profanity when driving, I watch R-rated movies, I gamble at the casino, etc. Is this what I signed up for when I asked Christ into my heart? Shouldn't He be my only judge and not His servants? No one knows my heart so why do people judge so freely?
Someone told me that you can tell by the fruits that you bear who is a Christian. Well I think that churches need to quit looking for only apples because in God's kingdom He has many fruit trees. So my fruits that I bear are not helping out at the church, or making a potluck dish for the Bible study group. I don't go door to door and hand out leaflets about Jesus. I don't buy flower print dresses and fancy stitched bible covers. I am just me, walking my own walk and serving God in the way He has chosen for me.
Christians are harder on other Christians more than non-believers. I know some non-believers would disagree but it is true. Baptists, Catholics, Lutheran, Methodist, Nazarene, Seventh Day Advent, Presbyterian it doesn't matter the title. Each branch thinks they are the "true" branch. But maybe it is me that is the self-righteous one. I am just feeling very alone today.
posted by Daphnewood @ 4:38 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
Ah, Daphne. You sound like you need a hug. If it's because of the stuff you've written about, then I truly understand. A BIG *hug* from one girl to another, Christian or not.
As it turns out, I am a Christian too, although I think it's more accurate to say "Jesus believer". After all, lots of people claim they are Christians, but we both know they probably aren't.
As a believer, it also breaks my heart that some of the most mean and judgmental people in the world use the name of God to justify themselves. The problem with people is their fallibility as sinners, and with that, the Bible becomes distorted and misinterpreted so that people can get what they want.
Daphne, I encourage you to hold steadfast to the Truth. What is the Truth? Well, I'd start with the Bible. But after that, I would start reading books by trustworthy Christian authors. I have lots of authors and books to recommend, but it all depends on what you want to read. =)
Personally, I love New Life Ministries. Stephen Arterburn is a fantastic, loving speaker and author. I also love John Ortman, beloved pastor and hilarious author. R.C. Sproul is my favorite theologian.
Lastly, I leave you with this: no matter how much people distort the image of God with their bickering and judgement, no one can change God Himself. God is a loving, just, faithful God who has open arms for the world. Let Him define you, and no one else.
I avoided church for years because of the same reasons you use. It wasn't until I met Mrs A. that I started attending again. When we got married, we had a heck of a time finding a new church, as the old one was too far away to attend regularly. It took two years of searching, but now that we are settleing in to our new Church, it is becoming a more central part of our lives.
Hang in there, your relationship is between you and God, and anyone or anything that tries to insert itself in between is just flat wrong.
Amen, Daphne! I have felt the same way, but was never able to articulate it quite as well as you have. I have not set foot in a church for three years because of the backbiting and sniping. Let me correct that, I have not set foot in a formal church. I still meet up with friends and members for fellowship and devotionals, but that's about it.
Not every Christian's path is on the same road, but the destination is the same.
Daphne- I rarely give my true feelings on "hot topics" but I cannot help myself here.
"Someone told me that you can tell by the fruits that you bear who is a Christian."
This statement is true. They were talking about the Fruits of the Spirit, which, from what you're saying, don't appear to be part of what these "Christians" believe.
Believing in Jesus as your Lord and Savior doesn't include print dresses or potlucks.
You and God are the only two who know where you stand. And anyone who judges and makes you feel bad for not going to church is just wrong.
I am so sorry that people who call themselves Christian have judged you in this way.
**hugs**
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