What Daphne Needs

I stole this from Simple American. What he did was went to google then typed in his name and then the word 'needs' after. Google provided some funny insight to what he needed. Here are some examples from my search of "Daphne needs"

1. Daphne needs no man- well somedays I beg to differ but being a strong confident woman I will concur with this notion.
2. Daphne needs a kick in the ass- don't we all?
3. Daphne needs an epidural- not anymore!
4. Daphne needs to planted in a spot where it gets protection from the hot mid-day sun- ooookay
5. Daphne needs to be a 100% indoor kitty
6. Daphne needs to be "punished" and to right the wrongs of her own life choices - now that is a little harsh, don't you think?
7. Daphne needs less makeup though- uh, I am already at pretty much at the minimum in this department.
8. Daphne needs a quick roll in the hay- ALWAYS
9. Daphne needs to get laid- I am sensing a theme here
10. Daphne needs a date- Enough with my sex life already!
11. Daphne needs some sleep- I am fond of naps
12. Daphne needs to be tickled a bit at the bottom before it’s put in the hole and then it’s time for backfilling- *sigh* are we back to the topic of sex already?
13. Daphne needs a subscription for Xanax- apparently so
14. Daphne needs you- yes, I need all of you.

So what do you need?