Worried About My Son
Having a child with autism can be trying sometimes. For the most part, I feel rather lucky to have my M-Boy (oldest son) and all of his oddities. It always boggles my mind when people see him and think I must be some kind of saint for having a child like him. He really isn't all that different than a "normal" child. I have just as many crises with my other kids as I do with him. Saying that, this is his time for problems. I have been so worried about him. He has developed a tic. He blinks uncontrollably when anxious and lately he is ALWAYS anxious. I am so anti-medication but we are seriously thinking of medicating him. That makes me feel like I failed him. Yet the other part of me thinks I am being cruel to keep medicine from him when it would help him so much. I love our new city but I feel it is years behind Houston, Texas. There are some very wise people in Texas and the people of Houston value broad thinking. Kids almost never teased my son there. They opened their arms to his unique personality, marvelled at his strengths and encouraged him through his weaknesses. All of this from young children. Kansas City is different. They barely understand the word autism. How can that be? These children have such a narrow view of the world and it makes me think of a chicken yard, where the healthy chickens kill off the weak. I am so discouraged. At least the teachers involved in special education seem to be top notch. He has a case manager at his school. She is a bulldog fighting for his rights, like an ACLU lawyer or something. She gets him what he needs in the class. Too bad that cannot extend to the children. If you are a parent please teach your children about "different" children. Teach them to not be afraid and to not hate things and people they don't understand. I wish the parents around here had thought of that.
posted by Daphnewood @ 4:45 AM
7 comments
7 Comments:
I'm sorry to hear that Kansas is not treating your oldest son as well as Houston seemed to. Good luck to him. As for what to do...what does he think should be done?
There's a lady in England, her link is Astryngia on my blog. I highly recommend you check her out. She has dedicated her blog to her struggle with her son's autism. I think her husband has it too. You guys may have a lot to talk about! I bet it would be therapeutic to have someone alongside you who is going through the exact same thing.
I was very against medication, but it got to a point where the school refused to teach her if she wasn't on it. It does make for a roller coaster of emotions (till Aderall was created - thank goodness for it) but I am thankful now that I did as she is more easily appeased and grades are 2 grades higher straight across the board, and she's a happier person overall, unless that is, she's forgotten to take her medication.
I just want to tell you that in our house, different is always ok. The only thing about Canada that I dislike over the states, is that culture is so diversified, we do not have a Canadian culture and I think because of that and that 99% of our country is immigrants, we need to have our own so that we as a society can be more accepting of differences. That said, since my daughter is special, she treats everyone else that way. We wouldn't stand for anything less. Ticks are something of a worry, I myself have them adn still battle with doing it....my parents thought it was cute and laughed about them, I don't think it's "cute" it's a cause for torment. I often wonder if this is a form of tourettes that I have (desire to have an outburst for no reason (and sometimes do if i'm not paying attention to it), excitability and anxiousness causes outbreaks of these tics, and laughing for absolutely no reason except I feel so "high" that I need to release it. I shouldn't be saying this as now you'll think i'm totally nuts! :)
thanks for the support all. I just got home and have a message from his school to call his case manager. That usually isn't a good sign. Hoepfully it is just to see how things are going. Rowan, I do not think you are nuts at all. M-boy got excused from class earlier this week because he could not control his laughter. He laughs until he sobs. Then he calms down. That doesn't happen too often but often enough for us to notice :(
Thanks for sharing that about Texas. I guess the state gets judged on the East Coast by the disproportionate number of executions they seem to perform annually. Growing up in Ireland, Texas seemed so romantic and exciting to us. I know little of Kansas.
Maybe your experiences and interactions with your son at the school will enlighten them. If you have time, start lobbying the governor for more resources, etc. Or write a book about your experiences--seeing as you're not washing the toweles ;) I wrote about a boy who's different and I'm glad I did because people need to know these things...and I got positive feedback at readings from motehrs especially that made it all worthwhile. Broad thinking is what is right. Keep showing them by example how to deal with your son and it'll rub off. Good luck.
Yes, mum. That is a good thing to have people tell their kids. Maybe there would be differences? And I know little Solin is posting late on this one, but I can't really be blamed, I had to get offline for babysitting. But Mum. Times'll be tough, and poor M-Boy seems to have his days. But I would like to let you know about something. I have a friend, his name is John, John Parish, meh little sister knows him. But his mother forces medication upon him. I'm not even sure he needs the medication to be honest, his mother even said the step-headed red-child may need medication. She used to love me like you guys do, then she shifted to hating me and loving to the red child. Oh well, we're too far for a difference to be made. But if the medication'll help M-Boy. I'm hee to say it's a good idea. And it is also a good idea to see wat he wants, flatly honestly asking him whether hewants to take medication or not.
God bless you as you go through this difficult time. **hugs**
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