I'm Still Worth It!

My husband can be the sweetest guy in the world sometimes. Last night I was talking to him and telling him how excited I was getting for us to move up there with him so we can be a family again. I mentioned how this time, our time apart was too long. He said at least we could talk to each other everyday and reminded me when he was in basic training (many many many years ago) he only got to use the phone 10 minutes a week. He said " I stood in the freezing snow in a long line to use a pay-phone where everyone could overhear our conversation. Just to talk to you for 10 minutes. But that is okay. You were worth it and I would do it again today because you are still worth it. " He just boosted my self-esteem about 10-fold. I really love that man.

Lactose Intolerant

Well after bragging and relishing in my feast of Fruit Loops yesterday reality slammed me in the face. I am lactose intolerant. I am mildly so, compared to some but severe compared to others. I was sicker than a dog for several hours. I did find it interesting how in my mind I had created this reason for no longer eating cereal. It was not because I found it to be a "kid breakfast". I quit eating it because my stomach hurt like hell afterward. Now why did I choose to forget that part? Always the psychologist.....

Fruit Loops

I just ate a bowl of Fruit Loops for the first time in ages. It was so good! I do not eat cereal anymore except the occasional bowl of oatmeal. It seems like such a kid type of breakfast but I was scarfing it up. When I ate a twinkie earlier this year it wasn't as good as I remembered but my bowl of Fruit Loops didn't disappoint me. The colors were so vibrant. They had this teal colored loop that excited me so much that I saved them for last. Now I have to admit, the box did say 1/3 less sugar and maybe that had something to do with it but I doubt it. I hear those marketing ploys are just that: a ploy. And I had whole milk. Not skim or soy (yuck!) I feel so regal and spoiled today. Who would have ever guessed that Fruit Loops could be so Epicurean?

Nay?

My son said he loved Obi Wan so I teasingly said "why don't you marry him then?" He rolled his eyes at me and said "Mom, I am not nay " I love when kids think they are so worldly and wise.

Summer is Here Today, Sanity is Gone Tomorrow

The kids are out for the summer now. I grew 3 new gray strands of hair just this afternoon. A coincidence? I think not.

Feeling Dry

In general I love most people. I really do. I try to not judge people and I try to act friendly towards people from all walks of life. Different religions, lifestyles, races and age is of no concern. I try to walk as Jesus would, loving everyone. However, lately I have been feeling dry spiritually. What is wrong with me? I have never been "holy" and we all know I struggle with my language but lately I am finding myself ANGRY. I am angry at Christians for being so judgemental and rigid. I am angry at non-christians for being so intollerant and impatient of Christian beliefs. Is there a place for a person like me? I am NOT a fence walker when it comes to my faith. There are so many variations of Christianity yet I haven't felt like I belong in a church (that homey feel) since I was seventeen. I just gave up trying to find a church. I am feeling so dry right now but maybe dry hearts burn stronger and longer when they finally catch fire. I pray that a spark ignites me soon.

Atomic Cartoons, You Rule!

It was a great day for my son. The package from Atomic Cartoons came which not only included a DVD with 8 episodes but also a magazine signed by all of the creators. He was so overwhelmed he kept rocking back and forth like he used to do when he was younger. You can't always tell my son is autistic (until he talks) although people have told me his innocent face gives it away. Today he was reverting to all those autistic behaviors he has worked so hard to overcome like the rocking and the hand flapping but the weird part was I liked it. It showed me just how far he has come. He understood how special that gift from the studio was and that he was the only kid in Texas to have a DVD since it hasn't been released yet. He understood but he just didn't know how to react! These guys took time out of their busy day to make a single kid happy. They each wrote a personal message to him too. That is awesome and I cannot say enough nice things about them. Atomic Cartoons, you rule!

Foul Mood Is Lifting

I think I am over whatever dark emotion that engulfed me the past few days. I hope I am easier to live with for my family's sake. Reading Knottyboy's blog always cheers me. He seems to have a positive outlook on life even though he goes through his fair share of worldly strife. Maybe it is easier for him to be happy since he is such a cutie. Hmm...I wonder if ugly people are less happy in the world? Sounds like a thesis coming on. Just kidding. I can see presenting that to my advisor.

Uh, yes sir, I would like to interview people from the website HotOrNot.com and measure their preceived level of happiness. I hypothesize that people with higher ratings will be happier than those with lower ratings.

You know I would be laughed out of the university. Oh well, it wouldn't be the first time. Wait, yes it would. I do feel better.

The Guitar

I got guitar for my little son because he wanted to "worship God". How could I deny him? I don't take him to church so he needs to express himself somehow. I just have this really sinking feeling that I may have started something I do not want to see come to fruition. I mean I love artists as much as anyone but there is this saying "starving artist" that comes to mind. I have an 'artsy' family, mostly musical. Yeah, it skips a generation in case you are wondering if I have any talent. It not only skipped me, it put up a firewall in case I try to access it at any point. So, I look at my cousin who in all rights has a successful band that has toured Europe and has songs in movies and TV shows and think, well he certainly is not starving and he is not famous or anything that might endanger his life but do I really want my son to be a musician? Heck no! I want him to be a doctor like his dad. But when he picks up that little instrument and sings Holy is the Lord along with the Chris Tomlin CD my heart melts. He sings so unselfishly and I am such a greedy pig to want him to be something else. He is only 7 and he cannot play anything but a G chord. I know you are all thinking that he is way to young for me to worry about something like that but let's just say I am a person who does not like surprises and consistently in my life God has shown me things to prepare my anal-rententive ass* (yeah now that made a lot of sense didn't it?) for what lies ahead. I think God is trying to tell me something. Hopefully it is just "Take the boy to church" instead of "put away the scrubs".

* disclaimer- I am aware that a "Godly" person would not cuss in his/her blog. But for all of you self-righteous Christians (not the regular kind that are fully aware of their flaws) please remember God loves me JUST AS I AM and His grace is sufficient to cover a multitude of sins. I just choose to get more mileage out of that grace than most.

Boring Post

I am a little down this weekend. I don't know why either. The weather really sucks in Texas. It was like 95 degrees today and I could hear the A/C working non-stop. That ought to be a pleasant electricity bill (sarcasm - get used to it from me). We did find a place to move to until we get our house in Kansas. That was a blessing because it was stressing me out. Maybe I just need some chocolate. I hate when I get this way.

Rob Davies = My Hero

My autistic son is obsessed with Atomic Betty. I really think it has to do with the red hair and go-go boots. Finding items for this show is very difficult and Cartoon Network is no help at all. We don't have cable/satellite/PPV etc., but my son saw the program in our hotel room over Christmas break. It has been hell ever since. I tried to get these certain Betty items for his birthday but I couldn't find them anywhere. So, resourceful me sent an email to Atomic Cartoons and asked where I could find this stuff. Well I was thinking that some customer service person would reply but Rob Davies (a co-creator of the show) wrote back. Not only did he reply promptly, he is sending me the items in the mail. I showed the email to my son and now I look like SUPER MOM. Yes! So, I have to give props to Rob Davies, my new hero because I have been saved from a summer of obsessive compulsive hell. Any of you that has dealt with autism can understand the magnitude of this gesture. Plus, now I have to take back everything bad I ever said about Canadians (except my ex-stepdad-I stand by my word there). So Rob Davies, of the Canadian company Atomic Cartoons, I salute you!

Name Calling

My kids were kind of bickering and calling each other various names for stupid. I had a flashback to my childhood and realized my brothers and I were much more creative when it came to expressing names for stupid. I tried to think about some of the words and phrases and here are a few:

Dweeb- this was usually said when just passing by with no provocation. One word putdown usually retalliated with a one word putdown such "moron" or "dorkazoid"

Retardo Montalban- we usually called each other this if they other said something totally off the wall that made no sense

Spaz- this could also be "spazwad" or "spazmoid" usually brought out for clumsy events i.e. 'way to go, Spaz!'

Gomer Pyle- said for ignorant moments. sometimes we just lovingly said "you Gomer!"

then we would say complete sentences like "hey the short yellow school bus is outside to pick you up" and "I see someone has beat you with the stupid stick" (this one could be interchanged with ugly stick, smelly stick, loser stick, etc.) All of these could be said in the presence of our mother without too much trouble.

oh the list is endless but I am curious to hear what everyone else called their brothers or sisters.

Disobedient Children

I told them they could get their feet wet. Just their feet.

Longhorns and Cowboys

The picture ought to speak for itself but my daughter is on the end playing the part of the longhorn cow. My youngest son is on the other end playing the cattle rancher. Let's see, she is wearing an (old) old navy flag shirt and pants 2 sizes too big while he is wearing a cowboy hat, camouflage shorts, a pirate shirt and handling a whip for the first time. Don't you just love improv?

The Magic Age of Seven

I had a really great day with my son. He finds things like discarded string and twisty-ties as treasures. His prize find of the day was an old fish bone he called a "fossil".

The Best Junk Food in the World

I read a blog yesterday that had various pictures of California and I got homesick. Of course it led to thoughts of In-N-Out Burger. Gosh, I miss that place. The double double with cheese and grilled onions. I really wish they would get more in other states. I know there is one in Las Vegas too but I live in Texas people! Open a Texas location. No, wait, send it to Kansas since I will be moving there soon. My favorite part about eating there besides stuffing my face with delicious food is that if you look under the bottom rim of the cup you see the words "John 3:16" printed on it. I never forget to say grace when I eat that meal.

Funniest Link Ever!

Okay my husband sent me this. I know it is an old video but it is super funny and really makes fun of some Star Wars nerds. Oh yeah, it is not really for kids either. To laugh your hiney off click here

Movie Review: A Lot Like Love

Lame. Wait for the DVD.

Gun Free School Zone?

I was taking a picture of the outside of my son's school. I saw afterward this sign that I have never noticed before: Gun Free School Zone. Okay I know parts of Texas (especially in big cities) can be rough but guns in the elementary level? Maybe it was left from the wild west days.
I won't worry about this sign until they install metal detectors for the kids to pass through.

Diploma and Freedom

I am now a college educated member of society. Graduation is officially friday but I am not walking so I am counting myself as a graduate right now. Now for the GRE's and grad school so you can all address me as professor. Yeah, right! Anyway, it is so nice to be free this summer. I took the kids to school this morning and WENT BACK TO BED!!!! My gosh, it was pure heaven. I was doing a little jig when I was telling the kids "ha ha you have school and I don't" but then my son reminded me that I was bragging and I told him to never brag as it isn't nice at all. Dammit I hate when they throw life lessons I have taught them back in my face. Whatever happened to the ol' "Do as I say and not as I do" childrearing plan? Those were the days.

Kid Speak

Upon seeing a display for Star Wars bedsheets, my son stopped dead in his tracks. He looked closely at the colorful cartoonish images and this is how our converstaion went:

my son: Is that Obi Wan?
me: yes, I believe it is.
my son: Sweet!

Sweet? I am so out of the loop.

Final Number Two

Today I turn in my second final which was a take-home final over non-western texts. I nailed The Book of the Samurai and Disgrace but I am worried about that Devil on the Cross question. The other two books ( Black Elk Speaks & Things Fall Apart) had questions that I could only answer adequately. I aim for exemplary but often fall short.

On a side note there is no friggin hot water this morning. I just love ice cold showers. The stupid jerks that manage this place have a standard response: "we're working on the problem" Well, while they are working on fixing the hot water maybe they can work on kissing my butt too. *sigh* only 2 more months and we will all be up north(er) with the hubby. Hopefully our house in Kansas will come with a huge new water heater.

I better go pop in that CD now. I feel like I am going to explode and that ain't good.

Thank God for Chris Tomlin

I am not as happy as yesterday. Finals and term papers are taking their toll on me. However, I am hanging in there thanks to Chris Tomlin or rather, his music. It's not like I know the guy or anything. First of let me say this: I am a Christian and I love the Lord with all my heart. It's just that I am not a GOOD Christian. I do not go to church and as y'all know I use lots of cuss words. Normally I do not like worship music because it sounds cheesy and manufactured. I know it is because they want everyone to be able to sing along so they make it very simple (boring). This new CD by Chris Tomlin is different. It still does not fit into the hard rock category but it has a lot more rhythm than most contemporary worship music. Anyway, I have been listening to it non-stop.

So, why am I thanking God for Chris Tomlin? I will tell you. I have been able to tackle this week with gladness and strength because I am so aware that I am not alone and Jesus is cheering me on. There is a song ( Unfailing Love ) that says this:

And everything You hold in Your hand
Still You make time for me, I can't understand

Talk about a perfect parent! Here God has so much to deal with, the affairs of the whole freakin' (I'm trying really hard not to use profanity) world and he still makes time for me. My daughter was just making comments about how I have abandoned them this week. I really don't know how God does it but I am thankful nonetheless.

This CD is full of tidbits like this that I have swirling around in my head and heart. They have helped me keep focus on what really matters. The best song on the whole CD to me is You Do All Things Well but it doesn't matter which song is playing because in my mind I am soaking it all up. I don't know why I treat God so horrible/neglectful but this week He is making it clear that He doesn't care about all that and just wants to be with me. My friend said God finds all kinds of ways to speak to us, directly to our hearts. This week He has used Chris Tomlin to speak to mine. So, I say say thank you Jesus for caring enough to send me a message through another one of your servants. I pray that Chris Tomlin is getting his messages too.

A Happy Day

I don't know why but today I am feeling happy. I can't stop smiling and humming and I know I am bugging the crap out of the guy sitting in front of me here in this computer lab but I don't care. I am happy dammit! Yes, the potty mouth comes out even in good moods. Last night was not so happy because the little jedi/sith puked all over the carpet in the living room. I almost hurled myself when cleaning it up because the smell was getting to me. It's just one of those perils of motherhood. Thankfully he is feeling better today. He is feeling better and I am feeling happy. I love being happy. It is my favorite mood of all. Happy Day everyone!

Little Lord Vader

Do you see how the lightsabers actually light up nowadays? We had to use painted sticks when we were young. This is my youngest son. When he is dressed up like Darth Vader he torments me and pokes me with his lightsaber. I like it better when he dresses like Obi Wan because in that mode he becomes my protector and fights all sorts of monsters for me like vaccuum cleaners and clothes hangers.